Can't Take My Eyes Off You

As many of you know, my brother married his love three Saturdays ago. For your reading, I give you my best man toast:

Family, friends and guests, hello and welcome. For the benefit those of you who don't know me, I'm Terry’s brother – Casey. Though is the tradition for the best man to focus on the groom, I would like to take a moment and thank Janice for letting this megalomaniac stand in the spotlight for a few minutes on their wedding day. Also, if I may, Janice, you look stunning.

After the happy couple announced their wedding date, I went to my calendar and wrote in pen: the Lee-Ryan Wedding on September 16, 2006, erasing a rugby match that was scheduled. I had no expectations about the wedding day, except that I would be here – present. My hope was that I would be able in any way to ensure that the joy we all celebrate today becomes the memory that Terry and Janice treasure forever.

When Terry asked me to be his best man, part of me was flattered, part of me was terrified, but mostly I was gloating inwardly because he’s finally admitting something we’ve known all along, that I am, in fact, better than he.

Truly, Terry, I want to thank you for this great honor – being your best man. I also want to thank my parents, Rita and Pat, for the blessing of giving me a little brother. Though, throughout the years, Terry and I both questioned and challenged whether it was a blessing to be related.

I have the privilege of knowing Terry all his life. I recall how excited I was when my folks told me that I was going to be a brother. I was only three, so anything that sounded like good news excited me. I remember getting Terry from the hospital Christmas Eve 1976, and after settling in, how my Grandmom Bradley held him and welled up with pride. He was such a cute baby, (and he’s cute now…) He was such a cute baby, with his three red hairs.

I have experienced my brother growing up, watching his hair come in as little red ringlets and seeing his personality blossom. It’s a shame that I only have a few minutes to give you an insider’s view of Terry’s personality.

Inspired by the wedding party’s formal attire, I’d like to visit some of Terry’s self-expression through clothing: Terry loved Halloween growing up and looking back he never turned down a chance to be costumed even if it wasn’t for the holiday. He’s been the Campbell Soup Girl, a gig which paid him enough to buy a Nintendo; E.T., who handed out M&Ms instead of Reeses’ Pieces; a devil for Halloween, who enjoyed poking his neighborhood friends with his plastic pitchfork; and the reoccurring Terriana Jones, my brother’s incarnation of Indiana Jones, complete with bullwhip.

(Janice and Casey ad lib about Terry’s newly acquired Fedora.)

Terry has also expressed himself as a talented, quizzical mind of his generation. In his younger years, he set off in quest of scientific discovery, with some of his more famous hypotheses being: Can I make an electromagnet with soldering wire, a nail and an electrical outlet? Or, my favorite, will sand dissolve in the gas tank of the lawn mower or will it blow up the machine and kill my brother? As I stand here now, sand did neither.

Can you understand why we wondered if it was a blessing for us to be related?

Through being Terry’s brother and his best man, I have learned far too many funny stories for just one toast, like oatmealing neighbors’ front yards, leaving friends in the trunks of cars and the appearance of places in the back yard where grass won’t grow. More over, though, I continually realize what a special brother I have:

Talented,
Successful,
Smart,
Creative, and
Acerbically witty.

He’s grown up and has fallen in love. Thank you, Helene, for your daughter and thank you for loving her and Terry.

Through out their courtship, Terry has shown me in actions and words how important Janice is to him. He cannot and does not want to see his life without her. In simple eloquence, Terry says about his wife, “Janice makes me happy.”

As a bachelor, I will not try to give marital advice, but I looked to one of my fictional bachelor peers for some general counsel on life. The British Prime Minister in Love Actually puts everything in perspective and gives the audience a little advice and his take on life in a voiceover in the beginning of the movie:

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."

Please join me in raising a glass:

Terry and Janice,

May the love you share today, grow and strengthen to keep you steadfast on the journey ahead.

May the love you share today, ever change as you learn more about living, loving and sharing your lives and loves.

May the love you share today, be boundless as it only improves each day forward.

May you be each others’ rock until all the stars fall from the sky.

Sláinte!